回答莊弟兄提問

○○弟兄：
在愛裡，很難講究公平。而我們常因為感覺「不公平」而心生不平，因而生氣。
不過，馬太福音20章這個故事，你一定聽過：

因為天國好像家主清早去雇人，進他的葡萄園做工，和工人講定一天一錢銀子，就打發他們進葡萄園去。

約在巳初出去，看見市上還有閒站的人，就對他們說：『你們也進葡萄園去，所當給的，我必給你們。』他們也進去了。約在午正和申初又出去，也是這樣行。約在酉初出去，看見還有人站在那裏，就問他們說：『你們為甚麼整天在這裏閒站呢？』他們說：『因為沒有人雇我們。』 「他說：『你們也進葡萄園去。』

到了晚上，園主對管事的說：『叫工人都來，給他們工錢，從後來的起，到先來的為止。』

約在酉初雇的人來了，各人得了一錢銀子。及至那先雇的來了，他們以為必要多得，誰知也是各得一錢。

他們得了，就埋怨家主說：『我們整天勞苦受熱，那後來的只做了一小時，你竟叫他們和我們一樣嗎？』

家主回答其中的一人說：『朋友，我不虧負你，你與我講定的不是一錢銀子嗎？拿你的走吧！我給那後來的和給你一樣，這是我願意的。(太 20:1-14)

雖然耶穌這個比喻不是在講「公平」，但葡萄園工人的「心態」卻很有啟發性：清早的工人對勞動所得竟與酉初（下午五點多）才加入的工人相同，心生埋怨。從勞動量看，似乎埋怨合理；但每一個工人加入葡萄園的工作，都是自己與家主的「約定」，家主按照約定付款。沒有不公，所以工人的埋怨，是不合理的。

以前有一個牧師跟我說過，在牧養的工作中，常常要面對一些無理的對待，有時他也會生氣，但只要想到神都饒恕曾經為非作歹的他了，他為什麼不能饒恕對方？於是就放下怒氣了。這不是一個「道理」，是這位牧師真切深刻地「經歷過」被神饒恕、被神赦免的滋味，所以他反過來憐憫那些尚未被赦免、仍被罪捆綁的生命，也願意幫助他們認罪悔改，接受主。

單親教養是一條辛苦的道理，只靠自己燃燒生命，很快就會走到盡頭。你需要有神的愛做為供應，要在生活中看到神的美意，這條路才能走得穩妥，甚至樂在其中----我的家人，現在都「以小鴿子的快樂為快樂」。希望有一天，你也能「以孩子的快樂為快樂」。

Brother ○○,

In matters of love, it is difficult to insist on fairness. Yet we often become upset because we feel something is “unfair.”

However, you must have heard the story in Matthew 20:

“The kingdom of heaven is like a landowner who went out early in the morning to hire laborers for his vineyard. After agreeing with the laborers for a denarius a day, he sent them into his vineyard.

About the third hour he went out and saw others standing idle in the marketplace; and he said to them, ‘You also go into the vineyard, and whatever is right I will give you.’ And they went.

He went out again about the sixth and the ninth hour, and did the same. About the eleventh hour he went out and found others standing there, and said, ‘Why have you been standing here idle all day?’

They said, ‘Because no one has hired us.’

He said to them, ‘You also go into the vineyard.’

When evening came, the owner said to his steward, ‘Call the workers and pay them their wages, starting with the last and ending with the first.’

The workers hired at the eleventh hour came and each received a denarius. So when the first ones came, they expected to receive more, but each of them also received a denarius.

When they received it, they grumbled against the landowner:

‘These who were hired last worked only one hour, and you have made them equal to us who have borne the burden and the heat of the day.’

But he answered one of them, ‘Friend, I am doing you no wrong. Did you not agree with me for a denarius? Take what is yours and go. I choose to give to the last worker the same as I give to you.’” (Matt. 20:1–14)

Although Jesus’ parable is not mainly about “fairness,” the attitude of the vineyard workers is very revealing: the early workers grumbled because the latecomers received the same wage. From the perspective of labor, their complaint seems reasonable; but each worker entered the vineyard based on his own agreement with the landowner, and the landowner paid exactly according to that agreement. Nothing unjust happened—therefore their grumbling was unreasonable.

A pastor once told me that in ministry, he often had to face unfair or unreasonable treatment. Sometimes he also became angry. But whenever he remembered how God had forgiven his past sins and wrongdoing, he asked himself, “If God forgave me, why can’t I forgive others?” And with that thought, his anger would fade.

This was not just a “teaching” to him—he had truly experienced God’s forgiveness. Having tasted that grace deeply, he could then show compassion toward those who had not yet been forgiven and were still bound by sin, helping them repent and turn to the Lord.

Single parenting is a difficult path. If you rely only on your own strength, you will soon reach your limits. You need God’s love as your supply, and you need to see God’s good intentions in your daily life. Only then can this road be steady—and even joyful.

In my family, we now “take Little Dove’s joy as our joy.” I hope that one day, you may also “take your children’s joy as your joy.”

May the Lord strengthen you.