回答莊弟兄提問

○○弟兄：
你說的不錯，「造女人幫助男人」的確是神的旨意，但那是亞當夏娃「尚未犯罪」時的狀況。當亞當夏娃犯罪後，男女之間的關係就破裂了：男人怪罪女人讓他違背神的命令，而女人怪罪蛇的引誘。也就是說，只要人的罪性還在，人就會自私的只為自己打算、只求自己脫罪。

所以，人在關係中看到對方的錯時，不要忘了反省「自己」是否也未善盡本分。聖經的確說「你們作妻子的，當順服自己的丈夫，如同順服主。因為丈夫是妻子的頭，如同基督是教會的頭，他又是教會全體的救主。」(以弗所書 5:22-23)，但後面的經文是「你們作丈夫的，要愛你們的妻子，正如基督愛教會，為教會捨己。」( 以弗所書 5:25)身為弟兄的你，為妻子「捨己」了嗎？----不是「自認為我有犧牲了哪些哪些」叫做捨己，是像主耶穌一樣「無罪的為有罪的付上贖價」。

檢討別人很容易，但光檢討別人無法改善關係，只有彼此「看對方高過自己」，關係才有改善的可能性。我自己也是罪人，也沒辦法做到主耶穌的捨己，但我願意為此努力，因為我相信神會讓「萬事都互相效力，叫愛神的人得益處」（羅8:28）。我可能會說錯話，但神是信實的，是公義的，祂的話語絕不廢去，祂的應許永不落空。

這樣的神值得你信靠，也值得你放下自己，讓祂掌權，破碎你的老我，成為新造的人----也許此刻的「破碎」，是神在重塑你的過程呢！

共勉之。

Brother ○○,

What you said is correct: “God created woman to help man”—that is God’s intention. But that described the condition before Adam and Eve sinned. After the fall, the relationship between man and woman was broken: the man blamed the woman for causing him to disobey God, and the woman blamed the serpent for tempting her. In other words, as long as human sinfulness remains, people will act selfishly—thinking only of themselves and seeking only to justify themselves.

Therefore, when we see the faults of others in a relationship, we should not forget to reflect on whether we ourselves have failed to fulfill our own responsibilities. The Bible indeed says, “Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, His body, of which He is the Savior.” (Ephesians 5:22–23)

But the verse that follows says, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her.” (Ephesians 5:25)

As a brother in Christ, have you given yourself up for your wife? —And by “self-giving,” I don’t mean “I think I have sacrificed this or that.” True self-giving is like Christ: the sinless One paying the price for the sinful.

It is easy to judge others, but judging others alone never restores a relationship. Only when both sides consider the other better than themselves can a relationship truly improve. I myself am also a sinner. I cannot fully imitate Christ’s self-giving either, but I am willing to strive toward it, because I believe that “in all things God works for the good of those who love Him.” (Romans 8:28)

I may say the wrong thing at times, but God is faithful and just. His words never pass away, and His promises never fail.

Such a God is worthy of your trust. He is worthy for you to lay yourself down, let Him reign, allow Him to break your old self, and make you a new creation. —Perhaps the “breaking” you feel right now is exactly the process by which God is reshaping you.

May we grow together.