2024年10月29日 星期二

自由的靈魂:屈原 A Free Spirit: Qu Yuan

上<漁父>這一課,很難不被漁父的智慧打動:「世人皆濁,何不淈其泥而揚其波?眾人皆醉,何不餔其糟而歠其醨?」尤其當你面臨如屈原般「信而見疑,忠而被謗」以致於「被放」的處境時。

In the lesson on <The Fisherman>, it is hard not to be struck by the fisherman’s wisdom: “Since the world is all impure, why not stir up the mud at the bottom and raise the waves? All people are drunk—why not eat the dregs and drink thin wine, and join them in their inebriation?” This is especially moving when you face a situation like Qu Yuan’s, where being honest leads to suspicion, loyalty results in slander, and you end up exiled.


如果與世界妥協一點點(淈泥揚波、餔糟醊醨),人生境遇就可以改善,我為什麼不要?
If a small compromise with the world (stirring the mud, raising waves; eating wine dregs, drinking thin wine) could improve life’s circumstances, why wouldn’t I do it?

我們常會定睛在屈原「被放」的苦楚上:「舉世皆濁我獨清,眾人皆醉我獨醒」,箇中的孤獨與不被理解,太苦。
We often focus on Qu Yuan’s suffering in exile: “The whole world is impure, and only I remain pure; all are drunk and lost, and only I am awake.” The loneliness and lack of understanding within this situation are so bitter.

所以我們想逃,想解脫。而漁父的「智慧」,只需要付出一點點「妥協」的代價就能達到目的,很難不吸引人。
So we want to escape, to be free. And the fisherman’s “wisdom,” requiring only a small price of compromise to achieve the goal, is very tempting.

但是妥協後,我們究竟得到了什麼?付出的代價,真的就只是「一點點」嗎?
But after compromise, what do we really gain? Is the price truly only “a little”?

從屈原的人生看,若執行漁父「妥協」的處世之道,他可以回到朝廷,可以繼續盡忠於楚王,可以回復官職。沒錯,這一切都是屈原想要的,但這一切「想要」必須有一個無可交易的前提:「進不隱賢,必以其道」,否則,免談。
Looking at Qu Yuan’s life, if he had followed the fisherman’s path of “compromise,” he could have returned to the court, continued serving loyally under the King of Chu, and regained his official position. Yes, all of these were what Qu Yuan desired—but these desires must have an uncompromisable premise: “When promoted, do not hide the worthy, and always act according to the right path.” Without this, it is out of the question.

因為一旦接受了「妥協」,重回朝廷的屈原將不再是自己,而會是親秦派小人靳尚、令尹子蘭等的爪牙,他所效忠的與其說是「楚王」,不如說是背後掌控楚王的「親秦派」。
Because once compromise is accepted, Qu Yuan returning to court would no longer be himself, but a pawn of pro-Qin schemers like Jin Shang and Ling Yin Zi Lan. His loyalty would no longer be to the King of Chu, but rather to the pro-Qin faction controlling the king.

這樣重回楚國朝廷有何意義?而屈原賠上的代價,是「自己」。所以「一點點的妥協」,真的是「所得大於所失」嗎?
What meaning would returning to the Chu court have in such a case? The price Qu Yuan would pay is himself. So is “a little compromise” really “gain greater than loss”?

更麻煩的是,這會是一條不歸路,因為你質押出去的人格,你再也取不回來:你將永遠被「質押當下」所認可的「價值規準」所套牢,你會永久失去為自己人格「定價」的權力(如果人格可以定價的話)。
Even worse, this becomes a path of no return, because the character you pawned cannot be reclaimed: you will forever be trapped by the “standards of value” recognized at the time of the pledge, permanently losing the power to set the worth of your own character (if such a thing could be measured).

這樣的屈原,就算帶著「三閭大夫」的頭銜,也許依然會一個人「行吟澤畔」吧!只不過憂思的對象換成了「自己」。
Such a Qu Yuan, even with the title of “Sanlü Dafu,” might still walk and recite alone along the lakes or riverbanks! Only the object of his sorrow would now be himself.
所以,屈原憔悴枯槁、看似頑固的表象下,其實擁有一個自由的靈魂。
Therefore, beneath Qu Yuan’s withered and seemingly stubborn exterior, he actually possesses a free spirit.

真正的自由,不是你「可以做什麼」,而是你「可以不做什麼」。屈原當然懂漁父說的處世之道,但他就是做不到——不是因為能力不足,而是他的信仰價值不允許。所以,拒絕。
True freedom is not what you “can do,” but what you “can choose not to do.” Qu Yuan certainly understood the fisherman’s way of dealing with the world, but he could not follow it—not due to lack of ability, but because his values and convictions would not allow it. Therefore, he refused.

而身為基督徒,我在屈原身上看到主內肢體「分別為聖、渴慕聖潔」該有的形象。真正的基督徒,該擁有、也擁有像屈原一樣的,自由的靈魂。
As a Christian, I see in Qu Yuan an image of what it means for God’s people to be “set apart and longing for holiness.” A true Christian should have—and indeed can have—a free spirit like Qu Yuan’s.

2024年10月28日 星期一

回答學生詢問「三一神」Answering a student’s question about the “Triune God”

「三一神」指的是「三個位格(聖父、聖子、聖靈)的唯一真神」

這個名詞在聖經裡找不到,它是聖經裡對神的相關敘述中,被「發現」的真理:只有一位神,但全本聖經中有「三個位格」都是祂的「自身」(不是「分身」的概念喔),所以是「唯一真神」。

說明:

「分身」概念下對神的認識(這是的):
神=聖父(耶和華)+聖子(耶穌)+聖靈(保惠師)

「自身」概念下對神的認識(這才是的):
神=聖父(耶和華)=聖子(耶穌)=聖靈(保惠師)

我的牧師告訴我,在基督信仰裡,三一真神是真理,也是奧秘;是複數(三位),也是單數(唯一)。從真理的角度,基督徒「只要信,不要怕」;從奧秘的角度,這是人的理智、邏輯無法證明的真理,那就不需要花心思在這個問題上糾結,耽誤了對神渴慕、親近的屬靈進程。

這也是你在聽基督徒禱告時,有時會求主耶穌、有時會求天父、有時會求聖靈的原因,因為不管是哪一個位格,都是指向「神自身」。我剛信主時也對這一點不太習慣,禱告時會卡卡的,不知道該向哪一個位格求,其實都一樣啦!

禱告唯一必要的形式,是一定要以「奉主耶穌基督的名求,阿們」做結,這是因為是主耶穌這個位格曾經降生為人,以無罪的生命為我們犧牲,為我們的罪付上贖價,成全了上帝的公義,所以我們需要主耶穌寶血的遮蓋,奉祂的名禱告,就是在宣告這一點。

Answering a student’s question about the “Triune God”

The term “Triune God” refers to “the one true God who exists in three persons: the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.”

This term does not appear explicitly in the Bible. Instead, it is a truth discovered from the biblical descriptions of God: there is only one God, yet throughout the Bible three persons are all revealed as His very own being (not “avatars” or “copies”), and therefore He is the one true God.

Explanation:

Understanding God using the concept of “separate avatars” (this is incorrect):
God = the Father (Yahweh) + the Son (Jesus) + the Holy Spirit (the Counselor)

Understanding God using the concept of “one same being” (this is correct):
God = the Father (Yahweh) = the Son (Jesus) = the Holy Spirit (the Counselor)

My pastor told me that in the Christian faith, the Triune God is both a truth and a mystery. He is plural (three persons) and also singular (one God). From the standpoint of truth, Christians should “just believe and not be afraid.” From the standpoint of mystery, this is a truth that human reasoning and logic cannot fully prove, so we don’t need to get stuck or distracted by overanalyzing it, which might hinder our spiritual desire to seek and draw near to God.

This is also why, when you hear Christians pray, sometimes we pray to the Lord Jesus, sometimes to the Heavenly Father, and sometimes to the Holy Spirit—because whichever person we call upon, we are still addressing God Himself. When I first came to faith, I also felt unsure about this. My prayers felt awkward because I didn’t know which person I should address. But actually, it’s all the same!

The only essential formality in prayer is that it must end with “In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, Amen.” This is because it was the person of Jesus who came into the world, lived a sinless life, sacrificed Himself for us, and paid the price for our sins, fulfilling God’s righteousness. Therefore, we need the covering of Jesus’ blood. Praying in His name is a declaration of this truth.

2024年10月23日 星期三

轉貼:不要再讓任何人打小孩了,包括你自己

不要再讓任何人打小孩了,包括你自己

好文推薦!這是一篇關於「身體邊界」的文章。

我覺得文章裡很重要的提醒是:我們都很怕自家孩子被外界暴力對待,但我們卻會在自己家裡用體罰的方式管教小孩。這裡面涉及一個迷思:我們對自己過度信任,相信自己的「管教」絕不會傷害到小孩;而對陌生的外界充滿恐懼,恐懼外界傷害了自己的小孩。
因為我們真的愛孩子,所以我們相信自己可以拿捏好分寸,但不信任外人可以做到。但問題是:孩子身體的感受比較真實,還是我們自己的主觀認知比較正確?
拿鞭子的手不會痛,挨打的皮肉才會痛。
文章告訴我們:「打小孩就是打掉孩子的身體界線,打掉了他們對自己身體的感覺,打壞了他們對家長的信任。」
孩子對身體是有感覺的,但對於身體感覺的「認知」,卻是從「社會學習」而來的。如果孩子在家裡被體罰習得的認知是「這是管教」,那麼日後遇到「以管教為名義的暴力對待」,孩子就會失去辨識與警覺,因為這在過去\家庭經驗是「正常、應當」的。
與各位分享此文,盼望每一個孩子們可以在父母的教養下,都有清楚明確的身體界線認知,不僅可以保護自己,也可以幫助到別人,不被各種赤裸或包裝過的暴力對待。

2024年10月18日 星期五

流星

星星仍然閃爍
仍然銀亮如河

我的目光隨著流星而下
夜幕上 一點比暗更暗的黑洞
一道不著痕跡的傷痕

2024年10月6日 星期日

關於「專擅而霸道」的愛 On “Assertive and Overbearing” Love

 昨天我對自閉兒Jabez「對家人的愛」,用了「專擅而霸道」這麼強烈的字眼去描述,很精準,卻也容易引起誤會:這個世界有些愛也是「專擅而霸道」啊!(例如:恐怖情人)難道Jabez的愛與這些愛一樣嗎?如果是,為什麼感覺差那麼多?
Yesterday, I described the love that my autistic child, Jabez, shows to his family as “assertive and overbearing.” It was precise, yet it could easily be misunderstood: some love in this world is also “assertive and overbearing” (for example, in abusive or controlling relationships). Is Jabez’s love the same as that? If so, why does it feel so different?

就「專擅而霸道」的表象而言,看起來的確相同,但Jabez與世界裡那些「專擅而霸道的愛」有兩點不一樣:滿足感與安全感——這兩點,決定了兩者有本質性的不同。
On the surface, “assertive and overbearing” may look the same, but Jabez’s love differs from worldly “assertive and overbearing love” in two ways: fulfillment and security. These two factors determine a fundamental difference.

世界裡的愛,當需要以「專擅而霸道」的形式為之時,往往反映的是當事人對愛的匱乏與不安。因為匱乏,所以需索無度;因為不安,所以緊迫盯人。於是猜疑與憂懼成了愛的黑影,抖不掉也甩不脫。
In the world, when love takes the form of “assertive and overbearing,” it often reflects the person’s lack and insecurity in love. Because of this lack, they demand excessively; because of this insecurity, they cling tightly. Doubt and fear become shadows of their love, impossible to shake off.

而Jabez的「專擅而霸道」,則是來自於「自我世界的緩慢擴張」:從自己(1)、父子(2)到家人(5),他對家人的愛,自帶一種「愛人如己」的特質。
Jabez’s “assertive and overbearing” love comes from the slow expansion of his own world: from himself (1), to parent-child bonds (2), and then to his family (5). His love carries an inherent quality of “love others as oneself.”

另一方面,Jabez從小時候起,媽媽跟我就有「優先關顧Jabez內心、情緒」的教養共識,寧可學習沒做好,也不讓Jabez的情緒爆掉,所以Jabez在我們的羽翼下,可以放心、甚至放任的做自己。而我們這樣的教養模式,也影響了哥哥姐姐用相同的心態,去疼愛這個自閉的小弟弟。
Moreover, from childhood, mama and I agreed on a parenting approach that prioritized Jabez’s inner world and emotions. We would rather he not perform perfectly in learning than allow his emotions to explode. Under our care, he could safely—and even freely—be himself. This approach also influenced his older siblings to love and care for their autistic little brother with the same mindset.

所以,在愛「無虞匱乏」的情況下,Jabez的「安全感」十足,他「相信」只要他想要、他需要的,家人就「一定」會幫他做到。所以Jabez對家人的愛,就會浮現這種「專擅而霸道」的表象:他愛你,就愛你到底。
Thus, in a context of love without lack, Jabez has abundant security. He “believes” that whatever he wants or needs, his family will certainly provide. Consequently, his love for his family manifests as “assertive and overbearing”: when he loves you, he loves you completely.

這就是神透過Jabez給我的啟示:在關係中,在穩定的關係中,在充滿愛而穩定的關係中,專擅而霸道,其實只是一種理所當然的愛的表現。
This is the insight God has given me through Jabez: in relationships—especially stable and love-filled relationships—being “assertive and overbearing” can simply be a natural expression of love.

而我之於神,所缺乏的、需要的,就是這樣的「點火」,一如保羅說的:「我們若果癲狂,是為神。」(林後5:13)
And as for me before God, what I lack and need is this kind of “ignition,” just as Paul said: “If we are out of our mind, it is for God.” (2 Corinthians 5:13)

2024年10月5日 星期六

專注於特兒單純的心,我,會看到什麼? Jabez and His Love for Family

特兒在常人眼中的「單蠢」(簡單又愚蠢),在神眼裡,是美好的「單純」,但是我看得到嗎?若我看不到,是否是因為我「不夠花時間、心思」去看呢?
What appears as “simple-minded” (simple and foolish) in an autistic child in the eyes of the world, is beautiful “simplicity” in God’s eyes. But can I see it? If I cannot, is it because I do not spend enough time and attention to truly observe?

然而,就算我願意花時間去看,若我只是把特兒當作「觀察的對象」,我能夠「看見」嗎?
Yet even if I am willing to spend time observing, if I only treat the autistic child as an “object of observation,” can I truly “see”?

10/3那天,我家Jabez用「數學」教會我何謂「家人」:可以5+0,可以3+2,就是不能4+1。
On October 3, my Jabez taught me what “family” means through “math”: 5+0 is okay, 3+2 is okay, but 4+1 is not allowed.

Jabez的「家人」認知,從1(自己)到2(+我),再到5(+媽媽、姐姐、哥哥),花了好幾年的時間;等到所有人都成為「家人」後,只要家人一起出門,他便像牧羊犬一樣隨時點名,一個都不能少。
Jabez’s understanding of “family” developed over years: from 1 (himself), to 2 (+me), and finally to 5 (+mom, sister, brother). Once everyone became “family,” whenever the family goes out together, he acts like a sheepdog, checking to make sure no one is missing.

偶爾我們有誰臨時離開、未事先告知Jabez,Jabez就會委屈的掉淚,並用剛學會的電影「腦筋急轉彎」的模式「指指腦袋」:這裡現在是sadness ,joy 不在了。
Occasionally, if someone leaves without informing Jabez, he becomes upset and tears up. Using a method he learned from the movie “Inside Out,” he points to his head: “Here is now sadness; joy is gone.”

於是我們被迫互相提醒:誰要先離開,都得先跟Jabez報備,不然不準走。
This forces us to remind each other: whoever leaves first must notify Jabez; otherwise, they cannot go.

這是Jabez新的固著,我們家新的羈絆,也是新的幸福。
This is Jabez’s new fixation, a new bond for our family, and a new form of happiness.

Jabez的愛專擅而霸道,所以,很純粹。雖然生活難免有點兒不便,但因為疼愛Jabez,所以沒有人把Jabez的固著視為負擔,反而很享受這份「專擅與霸道」。
Jabez’s love is assertive and overbearing, yet it is very pure. Life may have some inconveniences, but because we love Jabez, no one sees his fixations as a burden; rather, we enjoy this “assertive and overbearing” love.

然而就在10/3這一天,Jabez「進化」了。
However, on October 3, Jabez “evolved.”

趁著無風無雨的颱風假,我們「事先告知」Jabez:哥哥要在家讀書,我跟媽媽、姐姐帶你去蓋印章(台中北屯廍子地區的萬聖節聯合社區活動)。Jabez同意了,但才踏出門口,Jabez就眼淚滾落,頻頻用手拭淚。無奈之下,我們只好進屋裡去,想想該如何說服Jabez讓哥哥在家讀書。
During a calm, rain-free typhoon holiday, we “informed Jabez in advance”: his brother would study at home, and Mom, Sister, and I would take him to collect stamps at the Halloween community event in Beitun, Taichung. Jabez agreed, but as soon as he stepped out, tears rolled down his face, and he kept wiping them away. Helpless, we went back inside to think about how to convince Jabez to allow his brother to stay home and study.

哥哥疼愛的抱抱Jabez,媽媽突然說:「Jabez,我跟爸爸帶你去蓋印章,讓姐姐陪哥哥好不好?」Jabez居然同意了!
His brother gave Jabez a loving hug, and Mom suddenly said, “Jabez, I will take you with Dad to collect stamps, and Sister will stay with your brother—is that okay?” To our surprise, Jabez agreed!

我們非常震驚:家人一個都不能少的Jabez,為什麼願意接受三個人出門?我們彼此討論,得出的結論是:哥哥一個人在家會孤單,所以如果有姐姐可以陪哥哥,那麼「少2人」出門,沒有人會落單,也是可以的。
We were astonished: Jabez, who never allows any family member to be left out, agreed to three people going out. After discussion, we concluded: the brother would be lonely alone at home, so if Sister could accompany him, then going out with “two fewer people” is fine—no one is left alone.

可以5+0,,可以3+2,就是不能4+1。是家人,就不能有人落單——這是Jabez昨天教會我的事情。
5+0 is okay, 3+2 is okay, but 4+1 is not allowed. If someone is family, no one can be left alone—this is what Jabez taught me yesterday.

要專注於特兒的單純,我必須與他相處、與他互動,努力地理解他,這樣才能真正的認識他。Jabez不是我「觀察的對象」,他是我的「愛子」
To focus on the simplicity of an autistic child, I must spend time with him, interact with him, and make an effort to understand him. Only then can I truly know him. Jabez is not an “object of observation”—he is my beloved child.