今天讀到一位諮商心理師提到一個很有意思的概念。他說,面對上癮,很多時候不要只是「戒癮」,而是要學習「離癮」。
所謂戒癮,很像是硬撐。
戒酒、戒菸、戒手遊、戒短影音……
我們很努力地壓抑自己、命令自己「不要再碰」。
但很多時候,心裡其實還是很想要。
於是人就會陷入一種循環:
拼命忍耐 → 意志力耗盡 → 再次沉迷 → 內疚羞愧 → 更討厭自己 → 又再次沉迷。
問題是,很多癮頭的背後,本來就不只是「喜歡那個東西」而已。
有人一直滑手機,其實是害怕孤單。
有人沉迷遊戲,是因為現實太挫敗。
有人酗酒,是想暫時忘記衝突與壓力。
有人無法停止工作,是因為只有成就感才能讓他覺得自己有價值。
所以「離癮」的概念,不只是反抗那個行為,
而是去理解:我真正缺少的到底是什麼?
或許是安全感。
或許是陪伴。
或許是被肯定。
或許只是內心太空了。
我們需要找到上癮背後的真正原因,
才能解決內心根本的議題。
後來我就在想,基督徒面對罪,會不會也是這樣的概念?
很多時候,我們努力「戒罪」。
不要貪財、不要色情、不要嫉妒、不要說謊。但內心深處,其實還是很渴望那些東西能帶來的快感與好處。
於是我們就活在另一種循環裡:
努力克制 → 失敗跌倒 → 自責羞愧 → 再次立志 → 又再次失敗。
可是福音好像不只是叫我們更用力地壓抑自己。而是邀請我們去發現:為什麼我這麼需要這些東西?
也許有些罪的背後,
其實藏著一個很深的空缺。
而真正能填滿人的,
不是更強的意志力,
而是更深地經歷上帝的愛。
當人真的在信仰裡得到安全感,
在教會找到相愛的群體,
在服事裡找到價值,
在福音裡體會到恩典與盼望,
就能慢慢鬆手放開曾經依賴的某些事物。
也許我們不只是要努力「戒掉罪」。
我們更需要的,是慢慢「離開罪」。
不是因為我們很有意志力,很能忍,
而是因為我們開始嚐到更美的東西。
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Today, I read something really interesting by a counseling psychologist. He said that when we’re dealing with addiction, a lot of times we shouldn't just try to "abstain from addiction," but instead learn to "leave addiction."
Abstaining from an addiction feels like you’re just forcing yourself to white-knuckle it.
Abstaining from drinking, smoking, mobile games, or short-form videos...
We try so hard to suppress our urges, telling ourselves, "Don’t you dare touch that again."
But honestly, most of the time, we still really want it deep down.
So we get trapped in this endless loop:
Trying so hard to hold back → Running completely out of willpower → Falling right back into it → Feeling super guilty and ashamed → Hating ourselves even more → And then falling back into it all over again.
The thing is, what’s driving the addiction usually isn't just that we "like that thing."
Someone who can’t stop scrolling through their phone might actually just be terrified of being lonely.
Someone hooked on gaming might just find reality way too frustrating.
Someone drinking heavily might just want to temporarily escape from conflict and stress.
Someone who’s a total workaholic might feel like they only matter when they achieve something.
That’s why the idea of "leaving addiction" isn't just about fighting the behavior.
It’s about figuring out: what is it that I’m actually missing?
Maybe it’s a sense of security.
Maybe it’s companionship.
Maybe it’s validation.
或 Maybe the inside of us is just totally empty.
We have to find the real root cause behind the addiction to actually fix what's going on inside our hearts.
Later, it got me thinking—is it the exact same way for Christians dealing with sin?
A lot of times, we try so hard to "abstain from sin."
Don't love money, don't watch porn, don't be jealous, don't lie. But deep down, we still secretly crave the pleasure and perks those things give us.
So we end up living in a whole different loop:
Trying our best to control ourselves → Messing up and falling down → Blaming ourselves and feeling ashamed → Making a fresh resolution → And then messing up all over again.
But the Gospel doesn't seem to just tell us to suppress ourselves even harder. Instead, it invites us to ask: why do I feel like I need these things so badly?
Maybe behind some of our sins, there's actually a really deep void.
And the thing that can truly fill a person isn't stronger willpower—it's experiencing God's love on a much deeper level.
When someone truly finds security in their faith, finds a community that loves them in the church, finds their value in serving, and really feels the grace and hope in the Gospel, they can slowly start to let go of the things they used to lean on.
Maybe we don't just need to work hard to "abstain from sin."
What we really need is to slowly "leave sin."
Not because we have amazing willpower or can endure a ton of pain, but because we've started to taste something so much better.
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