20260524 Andrew講道影片心得

影片出處：https://youtu.be/ACHeLoI2p0A?si=QxdSzXzIpquiS2b4 （英文版） 

今天Andrew 的講道很觸動我，因為他所說的罪的屬性與影響，在我身上通通都有。

罪跟酵一樣，會進入、擴散、腐蝕我們的生命，而可怕的是，這個過程是不可逆的----除非神的救恩臨到。常常我誤以為，只要自己的屬靈狀況「有改進」，就已經在處理罪了。這樣的心態，讓我一方面的確朝著救恩的方向前進，但另一方面，也仍然給罪留下破口。等到自己發覺不對勁了，常常已經是「走得太遠」了。

生命從麻木到剛硬，是一個漸進的過程，這也是罪最可怕的地方。它通常不會在犯罪之初就讓我感覺到捆綁與死亡，相反的，我會覺得享受，覺得快樂。那滋味如此難忘，於是逐漸陷溺其中（還是主動的陷進去），難以自拔。陷溺越深，捆綁就越緊，以至於死亡。

罪始於誘惑，終於死亡，這是聖經反覆證實的事，但我生命中「淡化感受，享受安逸」的特質，使我對罪的病識感常在感覺「有改進」的狀況下鬆懈，於是又成為罪的俘虜。

罪使人羞愧，使人隱藏，所以要將罪攤在光中是何等的困難！所以我們都需要神的恩典遮蓋，知道主耶穌願意、也已經為我們付上贖價，才能在神的赦免與釋放中重新獲得自由。

我永遠記得Jonathan Yang 牧師當年帶我做認罪禱告時的聖靈感動。「我們若認自己的罪，神是信實的，是公義的，必要赦免我們的罪，洗淨我們一切的不義」(約翰一書 1:9)，當我跟著牧師一句一句禱告唸到這句經文時，我痛哭流涕，泣不成聲，那股強力灌注進來的感動，將我心裡深深的罪疚感完全驅散，那是我第一次感經歷鎖鏈被砍斷、捆綁被釋放、生命被洗淨的感覺。我當年犯下的錯並未消失，但我不用再被罪疚感控訴，因為我屬於耶穌基督了。

我曾有過如此美好的屬靈經歷，但我卻無法持續下去，「痛過就忘（淡化感受）」是我的致命傷，成為我隱微的罪，傷害著我，也傷害著我身邊的人。今天Andrew 的講道再度提醒了我，對於罪，我不能輕易饒恕自己，因為我若輕易饒恕自己，那就是給罪留餘地，與罪沒完沒了的「相愛相殺」。

求主賜給我警醒的心，以慈愛吸引我，將我的眼目帶離這個世界，讓我望向耶穌，望向永生。也求主賜我順服的生命，不再愛自己過於愛神。

Andrew’s message today deeply touched me because every characteristic and effect of sin that he described can be found in my own life.

Sin is like yeast—it enters, spreads, and corrupts our lives. What makes it so frightening is that this process is irreversible unless God’s salvation intervenes. Too often, I mistakenly think that as long as my spiritual condition is “improving,” I am dealing with sin. This mindset does move me toward salvation in some ways, but at the same time, it leaves openings for sin to remain. By the time I realize something is wrong, I have often already gone too far.

The progression from spiritual numbness to hardness of heart is gradual, and that is what makes sin so dangerous. It rarely makes me feel its bondage and death at the beginning. Instead, it feels enjoyable; it feels pleasurable. The experience is so memorable that I gradually become immersed in it—indeed, I willingly plunge myself into it—and find it difficult to break free. The deeper the indulgence, the tighter the bondage becomes, ultimately leading to death.

Sin begins with temptation and ends in death. This truth is repeatedly affirmed throughout Scripture. Yet my tendency to dull my feelings and seek comfort often weakens my awareness of sin whenever I sense that I am “making progress.” As a result, I once again become a captive of sin.

Sin brings shame, and shame causes people to hide. That is why bringing sin into the light is so difficult. We all need God’s grace to cover us. Only when we know that Jesus was willing—and has already paid the ransom for us—can we receive true freedom through God’s forgiveness and deliverance.

I will never forget the work of the Holy Spirit when Pastor Jonathan Yang led me in a prayer of confession years ago. “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9). As I repeated this verse line by line after him during the prayer, I broke down in tears and could hardly speak. A powerful wave of conviction and comfort flooded into me, completely driving away the deep guilt I had carried in my heart. It was the first time I experienced what it felt like for chains to be broken, for bondage to be released, and for my life to be cleansed. The mistakes I had made did not disappear, but I no longer had to live under the accusation of guilt, because I belonged to Jesus Christ.

I once had such a beautiful spiritual experience, yet I have not been able to sustain it. “Forgetting the pain once it has passed” — dulling my sensitivity to what I have experienced — has become my fatal weakness. It has turned into a subtle sin that harms both me and the people around me. Andrew’s message today reminded me once again that I cannot afford to be lenient with myself regarding sin. If I easily excuse myself, I am simply giving sin room to remain, continuing an endless cycle of conflict and entanglement with it.

May the Lord give me a watchful heart. May His love draw me to Himself, turning my eyes away from this world and fixing them on Jesus and on eternal life. And may He grant me a life of obedience, so that I will no longer love myself more than I love God.