Jabez的「攻擊」

俗話說：「養兒方知父母恩。」這句話放在信仰裡操練，其理也成立。

關島行最後一天，為了不耽誤7:30的航班，我們決定5點起床（台灣時間是凌晨3點），5:30還出租車，再搭出租公司的接駁車到關島機場，給通關保留足夠的時間（關島海關的安檢太嚴格了）。Jabez很配合地跟著起床，不吵不鬧，直到還車時，Jabez 情緒爆走了。

從出租車下行李，Jabez 就開始焦躁不安，我們跟他解釋要歸還車輛，但Jabez 不接受。看著公司員工把車開走（去試車，看看有沒有車損），Jabez 情緒整個炸掉，彷彿沒了車子就無法回台灣。我趕忙抱起Jabez 安撫他，但是無效，Jabez 整個情緒大失控，居然出手打了我好幾下----我的肩部以上，都是他的攻擊範圍。

我有點嚇到，不可置信的看著Jabez，他也正眼看著我，我因此確定：我就是他的攻擊目標。但此時安撫他的焦慮是更迫切的事，於是我帶著笑意輕拍他的背，用肢體語言告訴他：「Daddy 沒事，不用擔心。Daddy惜惜！」後來媽媽出來點破了Jabez情緒爆掉的原因：我們只告訴他「離開旅館，前往機場」，忘記告訴他中間有「還車」這個環節，所以他對離開的車子產生焦慮。我們趕忙跟Jabez解釋清楚，不久接駁車也到了，Jabez才放下焦躁，又變回那個溫順柔和的孩子。

回程中，我反省整個的過程，神給了我以下的領受：

1.Jabez攻擊我不是出於本意。他本是愛我的，但在被情緒制約的情況下，他需要一個情緒的出口，我離他最近，所以就成了攻擊的目標。（事實上如果不攻擊我，那他就會攻擊自己了）

在此時的Jabez身上，我看見我們被罪捆綁時的樣子：明明心裡有愛，卻還是失控出手攻擊了。「這樣看來，我以內心順服神的律，我肉體卻順服罪的律了」（羅馬書7:25），靠己力無法勝過罪，是鐵一般的事實。

2.被攻擊的我雖然驚訝，但沒有發火，反而憐惜Jabez這個孩子困在情緒的風暴中，因為我是他的爸爸。

我逆想：天父看著我們陷溺在罪中，應該也是同樣的心情吧？祂既恨惡罪，卻憐憫犯罪的我們，因為神就是愛。「愛是恆久忍耐，又有恩慈」（哥林多前書13:4），只有愛，才能讓人甘願為對方付出，為對方奉獻。

我感謝神讓我的生命與Jabez緊緊綁在一起，在這份親子關係中，神總是祝福滿滿，讓我在生活的操練中，與主更靠近。

<Jabez’s “Attack”>

There is a saying: “Only after raising children do you understand the grace of your parents.” This principle also proves true in the practice of faith.

On the last day of our trip to Guam, in order not to miss our 7:30 a.m. flight, we decided to wake up at 5:00 a.m. (3:00 a.m. Taiwan time). At 5:30 we returned the rental car, then took the rental company’s shuttle to the airport, allowing sufficient time for security and customs clearance (Guam’s inspections are very strict). Jabez cooperated and woke up with us without fussing. However, when it was time to return the car, his emotions suddenly exploded.

As we unloaded the luggage from the car, Jabez became increasingly anxious. We explained that we needed to return the vehicle, but he could not accept it. When he watched the company staff drive the car away for inspection (to check for any damage), his emotions completely spiraled out of control. It was as if, without the car, we would not be able to return to Taiwan. I quickly picked him up and tried to comfort him, but it did not help. He completely lost control and struck me several times—everything above my shoulders was within his range of attack.

I was startled and looked at him in disbelief. He looked straight back at me. In that moment, I knew for certain: I was his target. Yet calming his anxiety was more urgent than defending myself. So I smiled gently, patted his back, and used body language to reassure him: “Daddy is okay. Don’t worry. Daddy loves you.” Later, his mother identified the cause of his emotional outburst: we had told him we were leaving the hotel and heading to the airport, but we had forgotten to explain that returning the car was part of the process. The sudden departure of the car triggered his anxiety. We quickly clarified everything to him. Soon the shuttle arrived, and Jabez calmed down, returning to his gentle and tender self.

On the flight home, I reflected on the entire incident, and the Lord gave me the following insights:

1. Jabez did not attack me intentionally.

He loves me. But when overwhelmed by emotion, he needed an outlet, and I happened to be the closest one to him, so I became the target. (In fact, had he not struck me, he might have harmed himself.)

In Jabez at that moment, I saw a picture of ourselves when we are bound by sin. Though there is love in our hearts, we still lose control and strike out. As Scripture says:

“So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin” (Romans 7:25).

It is an ironclad truth that we cannot overcome sin by our own strength.

2. Though I was surprised by the attack, I did not become angry. Instead, I felt compassion for Jabez, trapped in the storm of his emotions—because I am his father.

Reflecting further, I wondered: when our Heavenly Father sees us drowning in sin, does He not feel the same? He hates sin, yet He has mercy on us sinners, because God is love.

“Love is patient and kind” (1 Corinthians 13:4).

Only love enables one to willingly give, to sacrifice, and to offer oneself for another.

I thank God for binding my life so closely with Jabez’s. In this parent–child relationship, God continually pours out His blessings, drawing me closer to the Lord through the daily practice of life.