第1-2集：自閉症（共4個個案）
第3集：過過動症（2個個案）
第4集：讀寫障礙（2個個案）
因為Jabez的緣故，我們接觸、進入了特兒的世界----不只是Jabez的個人世界，也包括各式各樣、不同障別的特兒圈子。感謝主，讓我們在信主後才生下Jabez，這幫助了我們很早就對準神，以尋求神「偽裝的祝福」的角度去陪伴、照顧這個孩子，並讓我們看見，神透過這個孩子給我們家一路以來的啟示是什麼。
在上帝眼裡、在家人眼中，Jabez是多麼可愛、甚至是完美的小孩！但我們眼中的「可愛」，可能與一般人的認知不太一樣，因為一般人沒有近距離理解特兒的機會。
甚至很多的特兒家長，也不瞭解自己所生下的特兒。所以特兒究竟花了多大的努力讓自己融入這個世界（從家庭到社會），我們永遠不會知道。
直到有人願意幫助他們把自己「腦海裡的世界」表達出來。
影片裡，個案幾乎都提到他們兩方面的困境：融入世界的困難，以及融入世界（甚至僅是簡單的「被理解」）的渴望。對於他們，「被接納」遠比「變正常」更為重要，因為意識到自己的「特殊」，已經是他們永遠放不下、需要一輩子奮戰的十字架了。
這兩天，我們全家一起看完「腦海裡的世界」，邊收看邊討論。我們不只是談論Jabez，更多的時候，我們透過影片提到的「癥狀」去檢視自己，是否有這些特殊的「內在生命因子」。在討論中，家人彼此坦白自己的軟弱，而這樣的坦白，帶來同理與接住，家人的關係更加緊密了。
分享這個記錄片，是希望特兒們可以在大家的「理解」中，也能漸漸地被大家同理與接納住。我想，這是會讓上帝發出微笑的美好事情 。
***
Highly Recommended: "Inside Our Autistic（ADHD/Dyslexic） Minds" Documentary (Produced by the BBC)
Episodes 1–2: Autism (4 case studies)
Episode 3: ADHD (2 case studies)
Episode 4: Dyslexia (2 case studies)
Because of Jabez, we encountered and entered the world of special needs children—not just Jabez’s personal world, but also the wider community of children with various types of disabilities. Thank God that we came to know the Lord before Jabez was born. This helped us align our focus with God early on, allowing us to accompany and care for this child by seeking God’s "blessings in disguise." It also showed us the revelations God has brought to our family through him along the way.
In the eyes of God and his family, Jabez is such a lovely, even perfect child! However, our definition of "lovely" might differ from the mainstream perspective, as most people rarely get the chance to understand special needs children up close.
In fact, many parents themselves do not truly understand the special needs children they gave birth to. We will never truly know how much effort these children put into fitting into this world, from their families to society.
That is, until someone is willing to help them express "the world in their minds."
In the documentary, almost all the individuals mentioned a two-fold struggle: the difficulty of fitting into the world, and their deep longing to fit in (or even to simply be understood). For them, "being accepted" is far more important than "becoming normal." Recognizing their own "uniqueness" is already a lifelong cross they can never put down.
Over the past two days, our whole family watched "Inside Our Autistic（ADHD/Dyslexic） Minds " together, discussing it as we watched. We didn't just talk about Jabez; more often, we examined ourselves through the "symptoms" mentioned in the video to see if we also carried these unique "inner life factors." During our discussion, family members openly shared their own weaknesses. This honesty brought empathy and support, drawing our family even closer together.
I am sharing this documentary in the hope that through everyone's "understanding," special needs children can gradually be empathized with and accepted. I believe this is a beautiful thing that will bring a smile to God's face.
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其實，這個記錄片讓我的家人都重新檢視了自己，以及彼此長年來的共處經驗。
第3集，ADHD的亨利具有兩種特質：亂中有序與健忘。前者是Daphne 的特質，我認識她時就已經知道，後者則是我的特質。而我兼具自閉症「追求秩序感」的特質（ex：我求學時，書架上的書會按照書本大小排列），與Daphne亂中有序恰好對立。Daphne具有圖像記憶的能力，她可以根據腦海裡的視覺地圖，清楚知道什麼東西放在哪裡，我一旦將物品動了位置，她會找不到東西。而我也可能會找不到，因為我忘記收去哪裡了。
這個問題，在我們相處的過程中必須學會適應對方或妥協，不然永遠吵不完。所以我學會包容Daphne的亂（孩子出生後家裡更亂，但我已經完全妥協了），以免東西找不到怪罪我。而Daphne也對我的健忘徹底死了心，也訓練孩子一起對我「耳提面命」，降低健忘對生活造成的「災損」。
第4集， 讀寫障礙的李對我而言是個特別的個案，他的音感超好。他想演音樂劇，但讀寫障礙讓他根本無法參與演出，因為他連四句長度的歌詞都背不下來，拍攝團隊甚至被迫為了他延長影片拍攝時間，且到處貼提示詞幫助他。
我沒有讀寫障礙，但我跟他一樣具有先天音感（這是Daphne發現的，因為我不用看譜就可以根據抓到的基準音彈出整首歌，當時她嚇了一大跳），所以音樂蘊含的情感，對我的觸動非常直接而強烈，這一點與我平時「對情緒的低感受力」形成強烈的反差。Daphne哀怨的開玩笑說：「難不成要我用唱的你才能感受到我的情緒？但我歌聲不行啊！」
這些都是極為有趣發現。不是在給自己貼標籤，而是發現自己原來具有某些連自己都意識不到的「特殊」之處，雖然增加了彼此相處的難度，但也在愛裡，學習接納彼此的不同之處，在關係中合一。
不知道你們看完後，會不會也發現到神在你生命裡的「隱藏設計」呢？
***
Actually, this documentary prompted my entire family to re-examine ourselves and our years of living together.
In Episode 3, Henry, who has ADHD, exhibits two traits: organized chaos and forgetfulness. The former is Daphne’s trait, which I already knew when I met her, while the latter is mine. Meanwhile, I also possess the autistic trait of "seeking a sense of order" (for example, during my school years, I would arrange the books on my shelves by size), which stands in direct contrast to Daphne’s organized chaos. Daphne has a photographic memory; she can visualize a map in her mind and know exactly where everything is. If I move an object, she won't be able to find it. And I might not find it either, because I will have forgotten where I put it away.
We had to learn to adapt or compromise on this issue in our relationship; otherwise, the arguments would never end. So, I learned to tolerate Daphne’s messiness (the house got even messier after the kids were born, but I have completely surrendered to it) to avoid being blamed when things go missing. On the other hand, Daphne has given up all hope regarding my forgetfulness. She has also trained the kids to constantly remind me of things to reduce the "property damage" it causes to our daily life.
In Episode 4, Leigh, who has dyslexia, is a particularly unique case to me. He has a brilliant sense of pitch. He wanted to perform in a musical, but his dyslexia made it impossible for him to participate because he couldn't even memorize a four-line lyric. The production crew was even forced to extend the filming schedule for him and post cue words everywhere to help him out.
I don't have dyslexia, but like him, I have an innate sense of pitch. Daphne discovered this because I can play an entire song by ear based on a root note without looking at sheet music, which shocked her at the time. As a result, the emotions carried by music touch me very directly and intensely. This forms a sharp contrast to my usual "low sensitivity to emotions." Daphne jokingly complained, "Do I really have to sing for you to feel my emotions? But my singing voice is terrible!"
These were all incredibly interesting discoveries. It is not about labeling ourselves, but about realizing that we possess certain "unique" traits we weren't even aware of. While this adds to the difficulty of living together, it also allows us to learn to accept each other's differences through love and become one in our relationship.
I wonder if, after watching it, you will also discover God's "hidden design" in your own life?
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